It's sad when there are so many different "you"s that you lose track of who "YOU" are! But the pressure is heavy to do whatever will keep you from being rejected or ridiculed by people you have to see all the time. And when you don't dance to their tune, they pull out one or more of the "Classic Lines for Getting People to Do the Wrong Thing." You have heard them somewhere before . . .

"EVERYBODY'S doing it!" "A little won't hurt." "No one will ever know." "You chicken?" "It's fun, man!"
"If you love me, you will . . ." "Just this once . . . " "If it feels good, do it!"

Ultimately, there are two words that sum up the choices of a Play-Doh person . . . "FIT IN!" That's the drumbeat of the people around you - "Wear what we wear . . . talk like we talk . . .listen to what we listen to . . . call 'cool' what we call 'cool' . . . laugh at what we laugh at . . .go where we go . . . do what we do. FIT IN!" When you're young and not real sure of who you really are just yet, you do not want to be the outsider or the one who sticks out. So the slave masters of peer pressure just keep chanting in your heart, "Fit in. Fit in. Fit in." The pressure is nothing new. Jesus was talking about it in His day - He could have been talking about what happens to you day after day. "To what can I compare this generation? They are like children sitting in the marketplaces (or how about malls) and calling out to others: 'We played for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not mourn.'" (Matthew 11:16 & 17)
However the pressure comes, it never advertises the price tag for giving in. Just ask people who made one compromise . . . which made the next compromise easier . . . which led to lots of compromises - which ultimately cost them treasures such as their virginity, their reputation, their freedom, their parents' trust, their closeness to God.
Most of us are puppets in the hands of the people we want to please - who are puppets in the hands of the people they want to please . . . and so on. So, we walk around to each person or group of people, holding out our "am I OK?" ticket, hoping they will stamp it with their approval. In fact, most of us are approval junkies, trying to get as many "you're OK"s as we can. (Cont’d on following page)

 

 

 

 

Problem: Approval junkies always need another fix!
If five people give you the "thumbs up", there is always a sixth person whose OK you need . . . and a tenth . . . and a hundredth. There is never enough approval - so you have to keep performing for each group you are with - and each group has a shape they want you to be in order to get their "stamp". Hello, Play-Doh! Once you make approval your deciding factor, then you have to make "fitting in" your lifestyle. And since there is never enough approval, you have to play a lot of different "fit in" games and each time give up another piece of you.

HOW TO TURN PLAY-DOH INTO ROCK
Most of us start out as Play-Doh, easily molded by the people around us. But some get tired of being every sculptor's slave and decide to become a "make a difference" person. If you're at that point, then you are ready for that scientifically amazing feat - changing mushy Play-Doh into solid rock. The formula has four steps:
STEP 1 - CHOOSE YOUR UNIFORM.
"I'm tired of gettin' shot at," says the Civil War soldier. So, he comes up with what he considers a "brilliant" idea. "I'm goin' to wear a blue coat and gray pants - that way I can make everybody happy." Bad idea. Instead, he ends up getting shot at on both ends! Why? Because he did not pick his side and CHOOSE HIS UNIFORM. As long as you keep trying to wear more than one uniform in order to please different sides, you're going to get shot at on both ends! If you want to reduce the pressure on you, decide which you you're going to be and be that person all the time! When you keep flip-flopping back and forth, everyone thinks you are still going to go their way - so they keep pressuring you. When you choose your uniform once and for all, people will finally quit trying to get you to desert to the other side - and the pressure will decrease. Inconsistency increases peer pressure.
STEP 2 - TRADE IN "CLOTHES" FOR "SKIN."
A doctor friend of ours was amazed the day his teenage son asked if he could borrow a sport coat and pants of his to wear to school. Dad was really flattered - until his son told him why . . . "Oh, it's Geek Day at school, Dad." Actually, most young people are not very interested in wearing their parents' clothes - the clothes probably would not even fit. Young people cannot wear their parents' beliefs either - or their church's or their youth leader's - they need their own. The difference between firsthand and secondhand beliefs is like the difference between skin and clothes. You change your clothes for different occasions - work, school, the beach, dressy dates, bumming at home. But you always have the same SKIN! Maybe the reason you have kept changing who you are for different people is because your beliefs are just clothes - and you change them for different occasions. Your "Play-Doh" will not turn to rock until you get with God and settle, "What do I really believe?" about the major issues in your life. When it's between you and God, then it's skin - and you never change your skin, no matter what the occasion.
(Cont’d on following page)

 

 

 

 

STEP 3 - TRAVEL WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING WHERE YOU ARE GOING.
Sometimes you see hitchhikers beside the road, holding some crude sign with the name of some state or city on it - Milwaukee, let's say. This pilgrim is not especially interested in your SAT scores, your personality, or even what kind of chariot you have - he just wants to hook up with someone who is going where he wants to go! That's how you ought to pick your friends. First, of course, you have to decide what kind of person you want to become, what kind of goals you want to achieve. Then you need to look for people who have the same "destination sign" out as you do. Your selection of friends may well be THE most important choice you will make as a young person - because you will probably end up on the same road as they do. That is why the Bible warns us that "bad company corrupts good character" (I Corinthians 15:33) and that "he who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm" (Proverbs 13:20).
STEP 4 - TIE EVERY NO TO A YES.
There's an old song where this mountain-type guy brags, "I don't smoke, and I don't chew, and I don't go with the girls who do!" That's nice - we know what he's against . . . now what is he for? Being a MAD person does not mean you are known only for the things you don't believe in and won't do. Every action you are against is because of something valuable that you are for. We are against choices that will ruin the most valuable treasures in life. So, a "make a difference" person is mostly a positive person, committed to protect some very positive possessions.

Selections from Chapter 3 of Ron Hutchcraft's book: Ten Time Bombs